Chapter Seven: Be quiet and drive (with appreciation to the Deftones).

I don't know where you're from, but if you don't know where I'm from, I'm from California - Southern California to be exact (and exactness is everything when showing off your roots). I've been out here in the Las Vegas desert since the end of 2011. Sure, Vegas has its pros and cons like any other American metropolis, but in my humble opinion, no place equates to the versatility and uniqueness of SoCal. 

I grew up in Torrance, a suburb about thirty minutes away (depending on the traffic) from L.A. While I have been to Downtown plenty of times, my home has always been closer to the water. I grew up at the beach. I lived on Avenue I at Redondo Beach. It is considered to be the lesser of the beaches as it is not as classy as Manhattan or Hermosa, but class has nothing to do with the taste of salt water crusted onto one's lips; the alarming yet soothing caress between the toes from a sand crab burrowed in the wet sand; and an incoming set of decent height. Most of my childhood was spent trying to build up the courage to glide down the many expressive faces of waves, as well as find the balance to do so. Surf boards and I have never really been concurrent in our rhythms unless we both lie perfectly still on a glossy, seemingly lifeless surface, and it was in those moments that the world seemed so tangible and relevant, and probably the equivalent to being plugged into each other like the Avatar people and their horse-beings (major nerd fail here). I took a lot of these moments for granted being that I was young and did not understand the purposeful necessity of just sitting still for a moment. I relayed heavily on my body board and body surfing skills to navigate a great ride through the break zone, generally ending my ride with a self-inflicted wipe-out. 

Wipe-outs are fun, especially when self-induced. There is nothing more exhilarating than pushing oneself into the mysterious beyond, adrenaline pumping furiously and fear lurking off in the distance. Wipe-outs always make for the best memories and stories. On top of riding the surf, I have always been a roller coaster junky. I have been beyond blessed with a love for heights, flips, sudden drops, stops and everything in between - except spinning. Spinning and me are sworn enemies. I have no shame in saying no to spinning. Anyway, while I love the whimsical nostalgia Disneyland brings, Six Flags Magic Mountain will always hold a special place in my heart ... because I am sure my love of tossing and turning was honed at that theme park (as was the tiny bit of street cred I possess). 

I was able to leave the desert this past weekend for a time down memory lane with the manfriend, who also shares a love for those metal monsters. The best part of the trip was re-learning how to be "hardcore." Of course Rey and I chatted up our mutual experiences growing up at Magic Mountain, chests puffed out like two male peacocks with plums full and high. Well, that chat was good and fun until we actually parked in the lot and faced a glimpse of what was to become.

Well, on the bright side, Bugs Bunny Land is still up and running.

Plums a bit meeker and our stomachs doing weird things only older people's should be doing, Rey and I realized our mortality in an instant. I must admit, it had been a while since I had been on any substantial coasters. I was definitely feeling my age as we decided that our first ride to break back into the swing of plummeting from the sky to the earth (or concrete) was going to be Goliath. Now, Goliath doesn't seem too bad on the scale of Magic Mountain coasters. It isn't a chaotic labyrinth like my favorite ride of all time, X2, but the first drop - a lovely 255 feet - is quite the bucket of ice cold water on the head of someone who has essentially been in a coma. But much like taking, albeit slightly reluctantly, that abnormally larger and more erratic wave, not sure if one can balance properly or even maneuver a more painless wipe-out, we stepped onto the platform, buckled our safety restraints with blind bliss (we had to remove our glasses of course!) and did not look back. 

And boy was the first fall sheer, terrifyingly sweet bliss.

Full Throttle: the second best coaster.

I tried to make Ninja cooler by placing the track from Viper above us.

Me, Rey and randomness.

My future ride.

On top of rekindling my love for roller coasters, I got to reignite that old flame with the love of my life. We ended up buying passes and intend to add some loops into this year by visiting the park as often as possible. 

Among all of the craziness, this was the first time I was venturing out into the world with very limited access to vegetarian/vegan options. If there is one theme park that is not going to accommodate this lifestyle, it would be Six Flags (not that this is on purpose). Theme park food is all about being fast and easy to vomit. Thankfully, manfriend suggested something easy, intimate and sweet: a picnic. I was able to eat comfortably without breaking the bank. It was also nice to take a break from the noise of the park to sit and listen to the fun in the distance, the birds chirping and spending some quality time with Rey.  

Tofurky ... sexy.

Food, love and coasters.

Lunch was served in the form of tofurky sandwiches, Trader Joe's flaxseed tortilla chips and pita chips and hummus. It was actually really nice. I was full of energy for the day and didn't vomit once - yay for good life choices!

All in all, my Sunday was a fun day of back flips and front flips, sudden drops and climbing hills to do all of the above. But while these memories are engraved into my mind in the form of steel tracks hugging my brain just as tight as I did to my lap bar, I found myself back on the water's surface that Monday afternoon on the long drive back to the desert. No, I cannot say I was thrilled to be heading back. But it wasn't because of the fact that I was going to miss the park. I sat quietly, driving through the outskirts of my home and I was brought back to those long-forgotten moments I had often shared by myself in the water. The sun shines differently in SoCal. I don't know how to explain it, but it does. I am not talking about the smog, either. I mean it actually shines differently. The color of the atmosphere reminds me of a time from long ago, back when I was young and life was simpler. I was breathing in the past, its breeze flooding through my opened car window, and my lungs could remember exactly what it felt like when I used to breathe in that air. I was sad for a moment but it passed, as I'm sure it always will. There is a comfort in finally connecting with a familiarity that one never knew was there because one never sought it out or was simply too busy consumed by the chaos around - even positive chaos. Finding that time to reflect in that perfect moment is magical. After a long time, I have finally experienced that long forgotten triumph in everything making sense. And while it was not as though I had some kind of miraculous epiphany, I finally found a piece of my former self along the trail I had blazed a while ago. That in itself is magical.

I miss Torrance and the beach and all that I was back in that life, but I know that the pieces I've shed over this season are preparing me for the person I am going to become; the person that will be a bit worn in the desert heat but very much educated by the chaos. And when I return to familiar ground, I will be a great new version of myself, hopefully with a better understanding of how this all works. Of course I will endure all of my wipe-outs, environmental and self-induced, with fear lingering in the back ground and in a hesitant step, but I will step onto that platform, lock in my lap bar and make the plunge. That is a part of what life is all about.

But more importantly, I will make sure to find that moment to simply be quiet and drive.     

Chapter Six: Scramble.

If I could describe my life in a simple picture, I suppose I could do so with this one:

Don't feel too sorry for me; this stuff is good.

In words, my life tends to be a scramble. And before you begin the typical "Ugh, I'm so over Cassandra being emo all of the time" eye roll, I mean that my life is a scramble in a positive way. 

Of course, scrambles don't always look pleasing to the eye. Perhaps if you were to walk past this picture and not give it much of a glance, you may just see an ugly brown blob with some white cubes. Random. It probably wouldn't even cross your mind as being edible. But when you look a bit closer and see what actually composes the scramble, that's were the blob becomes more intricate and it all begins to make some sense. Unfortunately, I tend to have a more walk-past-mindlessly approach, which is why life has been getting to me a lot lately.

I have a handful of foods/fruits/vegetables that have always made me shudder. I tend to be a very open minded - and mouthed - person when it comes to food, but like every Superman, I also have my kryptonite, even if it's a kryptonite whose affects I've never actually tested. I have never been partial to tomatoes, mushrooms or kiwis, and I have lived in fear of what a brussels sprout may do to my very soul. Going vegetarian has brought me to that point where I will now have to face my fears, suck it up and start expanding my palette beyond the purposely set limits of my foodie imagination. While I am not running head-on into the danger zone, I have slowly started to incorporate at least one of the aforementioned items into my diet. 

I'm sure at this point, you are through rolling your eyes and have moved onto a more befuddled expression: what does this have to do with your life besides you ditching meat? Well, I guess my musings regarding scrambles started last night when the manfriend and I met up with some of my high school friends at a local Thai restaurant called Lotus of Siam (which is really an amazing spot to dine - you should check them out). My friend Yurika and her boyfriend Shoji ventured to Las Vegas yesterday for a vacation and I had the lovely opportunity to do a bit of catching up with them as well as enjoy some tofu pad-see-ew, a dish I would marry if I was not already in a committed relationship.

The conversation carried on in the usual way as Yurika and I chatted about our friends back home in Torrance. We exchanged a blanket I accidentally left at our annual Christmas party and a watch our other friend Erica left in the backseat of our car from our annual Laughlin trip. Rey, my hubby, also gave them some off-the-strip must-see advice because we "locals" tend to beckon our visiting friends away from the confines of a typical Las Vegas schedule. I definitely enjoyed the food and the effervescent company, but what really stuck in my brain since last night was the remark Yurika made as we embraced in our leave. She said to me in similar words, "you must get a lot of visitors from home because you're the closest of the extended group." In that moment I didn't think much of it; I just grinned and thought, "yeah, Liz is in Florida and Jen is going to be moving out of the country soon ... I suppose I am the closest of the extended friend-family."

Then today and all of work's drama ensued, and as I sat in my car on the drive home, my mind, though tired, focused on Yurika's words again. I wanted to dwell on the fact that 2014, even with the big, positive changes that have come to pass in my personal life, was still a big scramble of mess. But Yurika's words really got me thinking that despite it all, my 2014 has been pretty fricken good in terms of the awesome people I have in my life. Since moving to Las Vegas, I have missed out on birthdays and other fun events. But I got to spend time with a group of people (that keeps growing!) that I have known for what seems like forever over Christmas. I have had Dulce, Robin and Duane visit, and I have seen my friend Chammarra and her family on their vacation out here. I am beyond excited that Liz will be coming over from Florida in February and that we are going to have a week to hang out, catch up and make new memories.

I know that to most of you these are faceless names. To me, these are people I have known since middle school - and some even earlier. Moreover, these humans are like my family as they were there for me in times when even my own family wasn't completely present. I survived a great deal of bad history because of these people and the fact that they all still are very much present in my life is one of the greatest blessings I could ever have. Most people leave high school and never see each other again. Me and my friends have no intention of going to our high school reunions because the people we cared about most a decade ago are still active in our lives today. It's a beautifully mind-boggling fact. 

When I'm driving home at the end of the day, especially on those days when life seems especially hard, I need to remember the best parts of the scramble of life. I made a scramble tonight for dinner for me and Denise, and it consisted of soyrizo, tofu and potatoes. I also added mushrooms. No, I was not happy about it because mushrooms have an awkward texture and an awkward almost tasteless-taste which weirds me out beyond reason (much like my dislike towards boba balls - I mean, really, what are you?!) but I figured that mushrooms are healthy and good for me and something that I need to start incorporating into my diet for all of their positive benefits. So while the scramble may appear to be just that, a mess, it's the individual ingredients that come together to create something that actually does kind of make sense. Yes, tofu and soyrizo are yummy. Potatoes are also good but are also starchy. And mushrooms are still kind of terrifying, but in the long run, I know that mushrooms and I will end up being cordial at the very least. I just need to start seeing their benefits instead of dwelling on that awkwardness they possess, in the humble opinion of my taste buds. At this point, I need to accept that life will always have its messy, unintelligible moments, but it is in those moments that we search and find those gems that make the messy times easier to get through. I am blessed by my support here in Vegas with me, Denise and Rey and his family. But I also have those crazy humans from Torrance and Florida and everywhere in-between that help me to find the fun within the scramble. 

It is in appreciating the creativity of it all that we find the artistic side of life; we discover new tastes, new ways to do things, and new fun in old traditions by being bold, not backing down and understanding that with all the bad there is also all of the good in a perfect balance of chaotic mess that, someday, will make sense - even if it is left to individual interpretation.

Well kiddos, I am done trying to be all philosophical for tonight. It is time for bed. I leave you with a simple expression of thanks for all of the tofus and mushrooms, old and new, in my life; you are all weird and awkward but ultimately good for me, so I thank you - seriously, I do. You make this scramble delicious.

Cheers!            

Chapter Five: Chunky Monkey.

Where is our best friend The Camel to ask us what day it is?? It's HUMP DAY - the midday of this crazy train, and boy was today a crazy one. There are days when I seriously think the universe is playing a practical joke on me, placing bets on different points at which my head might burst into flames. I used to pride myself in being an extremely patient person, or rather, I believed I was patient because that's what people told me. Now I'm not so sure I ever really was. I think I tolerated stuff more than actually being patient about stuff. Hump Day was a huge test of my (lack there of) patience. That being said, everything that could rain on my parade was exactly the fuel that sparked a lovely twenty minute non-stop run on the elliptical.

I have heard that ellipticals are tricky machines in that they usually lie to you, giving you a false pat on the back for a work out that you really didn't put as much effort into as you may imagine. There is always the help from the foot pedals that rotate and continue to do so at about the same speed you were at seconds before you began to slow yourself so that your legs are essentially just moving to the motion of the ocean on a particularly windy day. But the roll of my tide was all my own tonight, and I can actually thank my work day for the momentum. I spent twenty minutes almost mindlessly venting at Denise, hardly realizing, even though I was catching my breath between syllables, that I was sweating and actually getting a pretty decent work out. I went from psycho-manic crazy lady to "Hey, I'm already at my two minute cool down - sweet!"

I started to think about the mini work out sesh while in the shower and I realized how great I felt. There was a point in the day in which I honestly felt like throwing in the towel, ready to hit up Ross for a pair of cheap heels and then find a vacant corner as a means of bringing in some cash. Thankfully, I physically took my anger out on that elliptical (and verbally at Denise) and it felt stupendous (the work out itself, not my verbal abuse at Denise)! I was able to turn that negative energy into fuel for something positive. I have never looked at working out that way. Even better, I was humbled by the intensity of my day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am thankful for what I did put up with at work because I was able to use it towards something good for me. That's how I can start looking at the way I sometimes kind of feel like I'm sitting under a magnifying glass; the universe isn't after me, God isn't after me, trying to make me feel weak. He is giving me the tools I need to be strong when I feel like I have been thrown under a bus. My attitude pre-work out went from nasty to happily pleasant post-work out. I got to enjoy an evening with Denise and Nellis Mae, eating dinner and watching a few episodes of Girl Code, our new handbook for life. And the only the show on MTV that is even the slightest bit entertaining.    

Speaking of food ...

Denise: Why does it smell like mold in here?
Me: It's probably the mushrooms.

You are so tired of my whining, so let me share some food with you! Tonight we enjoyed a frozen meal from Whole Foods. It was the fettuccine alfredo with mushrooms dish. Honestly, I am not a fan of mushrooms at all. But after my run of expelled anguish, nothing smelled better than a steaming plate of carbs and fungi. I added some green beans, corn and Quorn brand chik'n because I was terrified of how this dish might come out. To my and Denise's pleasant surprise, the grub was delicious. I'm not sure if my mind is making me like foods, vegetables mainly, that I didn't care for before because I am now vegetarian, but the mushrooms did not faze me at all. I was nearly licking my plate. It was shameful.

Denise also made me my favorite smoothie thus far in the Simple Green Smoothie challenge: the Chunky Monkey. 

Or as they call it in the Marvel Universe, the Chunky HULK Monkey ... just don't call him chunky.

Denise spent some time after our excursion at the dog park across the street from our pad making her own almond butter, which was one of the ingredients of the Chunky Monkey. There are also a crap-ton of bananas and a wee bit o' chocolate (cue Homer Simpson drool session) mixed into this chaos of spinach. This is also the first smoothie in which the recipe did not call for berries. While berries are bliss, I am a huge banana fan (that's what I said) so naturally this smoothie was projected to be my fave, hands down, especially when combined with the element of chocolate. Again, chocolate is Cassandra's best friend.

We ended our Hump Day with a splash of Nacheez on some cauliflower and called it a night. Our wonderful friend and vegan mentor, Christina (hey girl!), is always hooking Denise and I up with the yummiest vegan food and snackage. She is a professed enabler and showed her true colors of wanting us both to create addictions when she gave us a jar of Nacheez - you enabler!!

It's like crack, only healthier for you.

Well kids, Hump Day has officially come to a close. I am off to snuggle up next to the manfriend and the baby brat, ready to catch some zzz's and prepare for another day. If anything should try to make me throw in the towel tomorrow, I will welcome it and kindly offer it to whatever work out I do to exert all of my angry vomit :)

Sweets dreams and here's to a better Thursday! Cheers!       

Chapter Four: Monday, Monday.

Hello, Monday. I never thought we could be so cordial, but it is pleasant to know that even we can be respectful to each other, even when you suck.

Okay, so my Monday did not actually suck. Yay! I hope yours didn't either. The older I get the more I dread Mondays, and often that dread seeps into Sunday nights which sucks as well. Again, I am trying to be more positive and thankful for my job, but hey, baby steps right? I wasn't necessarily dreading Monday, however, I wasn't thrilled that my Monday at work was going to start at ... *breath* ... 6:30am (unfortunately by my own accord). I still ended my day at my normal time and while I was slightly afraid that I might drop my face onto the desk from utter exhaustion, I survived the longer than usual day as though it were any other. I definitely applaud my change in diet as well as the super yummy smoothies I have been happily consuming as the source of my endurance. The work day seems to fly by and my wings have not been tired at all. It is fascinating. 

As I stated in Chapter Three, today was the day that I started adding exercising to my diet change. I am thankful to live in a complex where we have access to a decent size gym that has a few good options in terms of weight machines, an elliptical, two treadmills and 5,000 spin bikes. Now, back in my more fit days, I would spend a good hour in this little gym bouncing from machine to machine. Today, I decided not to push the envelope too heavily. Now that my lifestyle has changed, I want to take every step not necessarily gingerly but with some consideration for the changes happening in my body. Denise joined me and we did some cardio on the treadmills, testing the incline function and speed until we broke a sweat. I also played with the dumbbells because who wants a pair of Arnold thighs with flabby arms? I can't help but have nightmares about my underarms melting down to the floor like some kind of Dahli painting - yowza! The visuals! 

I didn't do anything core-specific this time around because I want to re-introduce my body into moving at a pace faster and more efficient than the slobbish zombie-sprint I generally do en route to the couch. My body didn't put up too much of a resistance today, but as it is only day one, we shall see what tomorrow holds. I am just excited that when I came home from work my attitude didn't turn into "meeeehhhhhh, do I really want to change and not take this God-forsaken bra off, and then walk in the cold to the gym, and then make myself move faster than normal to force myself to sweat" as it usually does. 

I won't lie, though; my mind was focused on the prize the entire time. That's right - food, glorious dinner. Denise made some rice and corn with ground "meat," mixed into some tomato sauce, tomatoes, onions and green beans. 

How I managed to only chow down on one bowl-full is beyond me.

Denise and I love bowl meals. Throwing a bunch of random stuff into a bowl is easy and yummy and leaves so much room for creativity. As I stated above, I did only have one serving of this hot mess. Even better than the surprise of my odd self-control, for dessert I only consumed three squares of this decadent beauty:

If the Golden Ticket tastes anything like the bar itself, I'm swallowing it.

I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATE. I also LOVE truffle. Put them together and I die. Simple as that. Don't get me roses, manfriend; get me a thick hunk of dark chocolate and truffle! This was my first time trying the Trader Joe's brand of chocolate and it was anything but a disappointment. It's the little things that really make the day :)

Anywho, tomorrow brings a new day and a new smoothie. Denise has prepared for us the Purple Power smoothie, comprised of two cups kale, a crap-ton of blueberries, two bananas and she added two tablespoons of flaxseed. I know I generally show off the post-warfare of the Ninja, but tonight I will give you the creation prior to it getting the karate chop.

Pre-massacre. Kind of.

Alas, I am sure you are done reading my ramblings for tonight. At 9pm, I am happy to say that I am ready for bed feeling content with all I have accomplished today. I am looking forward to my Purple Power smoothie for breakfast. Here's to a powerful Tuesday! 

Cheers!

Chapter Three: Food, Glorious Food!

Well kiddos, it is Sunday night and I have been sincerely spoiled by my food intake as of recent. You see, my bestie and roommate, Denise, willingly signed up to participate in the Simple Green Smoothie challenge. The point of the challenge is to try a new smoothie every day for a month (30 days), and the recipes for a week's worth of smoothies are sent via e-mail to the lucky person doing the challenge.Denise was very excited about this, especially if it meant being able to take her Ninja blender on an adventure. Now, each recipe makes enough for two smoothies and, lucky me, I have been carried along on this challenge by default. I won't lie, these smoothies are not necessarily pretty to look at, unless you love every hue of green, but they taste fantastic! My use of the italicize function is not me coming off sarcastic when I say they taste fantastic. They really do. And the best part is that each smoothie is jam-packed with vitamins and minerals from the use of spinach and kale, but flavored with the yummy sweetness of bananas, strawberries, mangoes, and every other fruit the recipes call for. Having a smoothie is an excellent way to start the day.

Mm, mm, Hulk-y!

So berry good.

 Denise and I have been successful thus far with having our morning smoothies. I really am proud of us considering we have not strayed in our way of eating, not even on the weekends. We have also started taking vitamins. That is probably the worst part since leaving meat behind. Not only am I terrible with taking tiny headache pills, I have the most sensitive gag reflex in the world. I now face five horse-sized pills every morning. They stare up at me tauntingly from the GNC packing, smirking as I gulp in fear. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for them and I know my body is (my body has never registered the word "vitamin" let alone actually taking them), but this is the part that has been the hardest. My vitamin-taking ritual in the mornings is probably hilarious to the passerby because I seriously have to mentally prepare myself before gulping down each pill individually. Again, no sarcasm with the italicized emphasis. I am really just a crazy person.

Beyond the vitamins, Denise, the manfriend and I have started a little tradition of venturing to Red Robin for lunch after church. I know that nothing healthy can come from a trip to Red Robin, however, their Garden Burger is to die for - my opinion, of course. I especially love the Bonzai Garden Burger because what's the point of grabbing a bite of a Garden Burger and not slapping some pineapples and unhealthy teriyaki sauce on it? We love them so much that we even picked some up at the grocery store today, minus the pineapple slices and teriykai sauce. The next time we go to Red Robin I intend to try their vegan burger. For now, though, I will dream of a Garden Burger smothered in all that is unhealthy...

Yeah. You might have to clean the sheets tomorrow.

 Okay, so not every meal can be as decadent as what is pictured above. Denise and I have been trying out some of the frozen products we picked up at Whole Foods. We tried their four-cheese gnocchi for lunch on Saturday. We added some meatless "chicken" bites as well as a variety of veggies, and viola! A happy little lunch was born!

I like it when my peas a-pop.

 So far, I have really enjoyed trying out all of these meatless products, as well as the smoothies. We have had to increase our trips to the grocery store to about once a week, but it is nice to have fresh produce in the house on a weekly basis. Beyond that, my palate has had a blast trying all of the new textures and flavors that I am being introduced to. I am really proud of Denise for being consistent with making the smoothies and sharing their deliciousness with me. I am proud that the both of us have kept to our promise to make some changes in ourselves and for this world. 

Tomorrow is the day we begin the exercise portion of this diet change, so wish me luck. I have not been on a steady exercise regime since July, and I can already foresee me having a tumble on the treadmill. Or a heart attack. Either way, I'm hoping for the best.

On that note, it is off to bed. Sweet dreams!

Denise says: Don't forget to puree tomorrow's smoothie!

    

Chapter Two: Furry Midday Ramblings.

After many a moment spent stressing about deadlines and meetings, I have officially given up on stressing. I have been getting too many headaches as of late to stress about work, and nothing is worse than trying to write up reports while it feels like your hair is being ripped out of your scalp hair by hair. Ouch. So, while still working on what needs to be done, I have decided that I am not going to kill myself over the frivolousness of it all; instead, I am going to work at my own pace so that everything gets completed with concrete detail. 

That still doesn't mean that I am going to be focused 100% of the time. If you don't know me, putting me in front of a computer for an extended period of time means that I am going to browse around the web of files and read. If you put me in front of a computer and I am well aware that I have a friend on on the other end of Outlook that is bored out of her mind, I am going to start writing her novels. Well actually, I was given a novel first and then the back and forth of noveling ensued. It was lovely, especially because one of the topics we covered was about our love for animals. This brings me to the reason as to why I even considered giving up animal products in the first place. Case and point:

Cue Sarah McLachlan.

I have blogged about our dog, Nellis Mae, several times before. In fact, little Nell Bell just celebrated her second birthday yesterday (yes, I have no shame in declaring this and will probably continue to do so well into next week). So why I am shoving my wee little dog in your face? Well, simply because she is the source of my animal-free inspiration. I had the pleasure of disclosing my little story to my friend via e-mail today while I was procrastinating on my mountain range worth of work. I'll give you the run-down.

We got Nellis when she was only four months old and ever since, she has made life interesting. From wet little kisses in the nostrils at 3 a.m. to endless barking at random strangers at the dog park, Nellis is a handful of love. She is spoiled rotten by her two mommies and daddy, and every day I find myself more in love with her. So when I started reading those articles on factory farming, I began to have a Lisa Simpson experience. Do you remember the episode of the Simpsons in which Lisa becomes vegetarian? The meat on her plate transforms into the animal she is about to consume, in this instance a lamb who begs for its life. And while I didn't actually manifest Nellis' ridiculous face onto the faces of the animals I was reading about in the factory farming articles, my brain kept spinning like an emo broken record: what if that was Nellis - would you eat her too? All I continued to think about was Nellis being left to die in a small pen being poked and prodded with electrical sticks and other various sharp objects, crying out for affection, naively excited at the sight of a human presence and then being dragged off to the slaughter. Even now as I write this I am feeling the same depressing cloud of reality rolling over me, making the world around me even clearer despite the heavy fog. I love this dog a lot, and it brings me so much pain that anyone would want to kill such lovable creatures, dog or not. I knew I had to do something and this is where I ended up. I could not be any happier about my decision, and I am definitely thankful for her. 

It is an amazing thing to think about the fact that a little four-legged creature whose language I cannot understand could make such an impact on my life. It is very humbling. I often recall a quote online that gets passed around a lot, the one that goes something along the lines of, "While [a dog] may be a part of your world, to [a dog], you are their entire world." This quote always makes me smile. Again, it is very humbling to think that something like our little Nellis could feel that way about her parents.

So there it is, the very essence of why I gave up meat and started this transition from vegetarian to vegan. I am still in my infant moments, looking around at this vastly green world, suckling at all I can get my hands on, anxious for new tastes and ready to mature into a knowledgeable and confident vegan woman. For now, I am going to continue to do my research and experiment with vegetarian and vegan foods. Unlike my awesome roomie and partner in veg crime, Denise, who has already begun her thirty-day juicing and smoothie challenge - and who has given me the other half of her creations, which are extremely yummy by the way, I have yet to try any true vegan recipes. Once I do, though, I will be sure to include plenty of pictures and, of course, each recipe so that you, too, may indulge along with me. As of right now, I am obsessed with tofu. 

Yes. I am.

Well kids, so ends the second day of the rest of 2014. Another meatless day gone, and I look forward to the week's end tomorrow. Right now, and like the mindless human slave that I am, I intend to follow in Nellis's paw prints...

Because nothing is more stimulating than mommy blogging.

Sweet dreams <3        

Chapter One: Happy New Year, 2014!

And here it is, the genesis of a new year.

All day yesterday, I kept getting the same old question prompted by the fact that it was New Year's Eve: what are your plans for tonight. Being that I currently live in Las Vegas, I'm sure the expected answer would have been something like, "I'll be at the Strip," "I'll be at a club," or the classic, "I will be face down at the bottom of a pint glass at some random person's house, hoping inwardly to even make it to midnight to ring in the new year." 

Maybe last year's response to that unavoidable question could have been any of the prior. However, I gave every person who asked me that question a truly honest answer: "I'm going to put on my pajamas, eat dinner, play a little Grand Theft Auto V and hope to be in bed by nine." Yes folks, I had no intentions of even staying awake until midnight because that is what my life has become. I outwardly celebrate whenever I lay my head down on my pillow before ten. With a job full of stress that causes me mentally and physically to be at zero percent energy by six pm, nothing soothes me more than knowing I can get a full night's rest, and I count that even on holidays. I had no intention of partying this year; I simply looked forward to a day in the middle of the week in which I could sleep in until eight am (so rebellious!) and not think about my regularly scheduled midweek tasks. 

Well, I accomplished most of what my honest answer conveyed. I put on my pajamas, had dinner and then watched three episodes of American Horror Story: Asylum (yes, I know, I was behind) before submerging myself into the bathtub with a saucy glass of cheap Merlot in hand. I know at some point my dog joined me in the tub, maintaining her dry coat by resting on my clavicle in a feeble attempt to block my airway, but even then I stroked her back aimlessly, allowing the water and the wine to warm me from the inside out, and my mind did the typical New Year's Eve wandering into the past. Of course 2013 wasn't the most horrendous year in the existence of mankind, but for me it wasn't the greatest either. Towards the end, I had a much-awaited explosion of emotion. This was a couple of weeks ago - the weekend before Thanksgiving I believe. I remember it clearly because I was sitting in a McDonald's in Wal-Mart on the verge of tears. I hadn't slept well that night. My mind had been fixated on one of the several articles I had read online regarding the farming of animals for food. This particular article featured a pig peering out at me from between the dirtied wooden boards of the crate it was in. I did not finish the entire article because I couldn't get beyond the pictures of other used and abused farm animals it featured, but I got the gist of it. And while this was just one of the many I had already read, the image of the pig would not leave my brain. This, on top of the mental stress from my job, welded up inside me and came pouring out of me in a slur of unintelligible word vomit at my boyfriend all the way to Wal-Mart where we ended our shopping trip at their in-store McDonald's. As I bit into one of their cheeseburgers, I publicly announced that I couldn't do this anymore - and when I say "announced," I mean I told my boyfriend, and when I say "I couldn't do this anymore," that is my dramatic way of stating that I could not indulge in meat anymore. 

Now, while my boyfriend wasn't completely weirded out by my announcement to him, I could tell that I had made the trip slightly weird. I was a big meat eater. I always had been. I loved a slab of bloody steak and often shared my desire to transform into a whale to swim the oceans with my mouth opened wide to invite every sea creature within reach easy access to my belly. So for me to suddenly announce that I was giving it all up was something ... weird. But I could not shake the images in my head and the fact that those images did have a significant impact on me in a way that I could not entirely explain. This was obviously a sign that something needed to change. Beyond that, a change within me was inevitable. I had spent a great portion of 2013 wallowing in stress. I had given up on being thankful for even having a job and instead spent many nights crying over things out of my control, worrying about upcoming events at work, growing more and more bitter at how I could not save money or afford certain things. I had become someone entirely different from whom I used to be - the free-spirited, too-often giggly and optimistic child at heart. Now, I was reduced to taking shameful selfies on Instagram that depict how haggard I feel. This year, instead of being thankful to God for my health, my home and my job, I spent the time unknowingly moving away from Him. 

These were the thoughts that my mind continued to dwell upon in the bath. As of last night, I have not eaten meat since Thanksgiving. I have been very proud. As for me being so bitter, I am working on it. I have been to church almost every Sunday since and I have been trying to draw nearer to Him by spending some time with Him every day. Sipping on my glass of wine, I felt a sense of calmness befall me. For the first time in a long time, things were beginning to make sense. Finally, the new year was starting to look bright. Currently, I am satisfied with my life choices. Everything I want to work on is attainable - only if I choose to put some work into it. 

And so, this is where the beginning of this blog ... starts. The purpose of this blog? To track my progress throughout the year. I have comprised my new year "resolutions" into a single mission of really working hard on refining my mind, body and soul. I want to cut out the extra junk in each category. I want to focus on the classes I take at UNLV this year (even the *blegh* math course I start on the 21st) so that I can grab my BA; I want to transition from my current status as vegetarian to vegan; and I want to grow close to God this year. I want to end 2014 on a high note, preferably as an even better version of myself; a Cassandra 2.0 if you will. On that note, if you are even still reading this blog and not half asleep in your arm chair, I hope that you will join me on this journey into a better future. I promise to post loads of pictures of food, fun recipes and every knowledge I gain regarding the vegan lifestyle, as well as my steps in my faith.

Well, as day one of 2014 comes to a close and I am up for my turn on the streets of Los Santos, I offer you a sincere cliche: Happy New Year, and may this year be for you as bright, positive and progressive as I know it will be for me!