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| Don't feel too sorry for me; this stuff is good. |
In words, my life tends to be a scramble. And before you begin the typical "Ugh, I'm so over Cassandra being emo all of the time" eye roll, I mean that my life is a scramble in a positive way.
Of course, scrambles don't always look pleasing to the eye. Perhaps if you were to walk past this picture and not give it much of a glance, you may just see an ugly brown blob with some white cubes. Random. It probably wouldn't even cross your mind as being edible. But when you look a bit closer and see what actually composes the scramble, that's were the blob becomes more intricate and it all begins to make some sense. Unfortunately, I tend to have a more walk-past-mindlessly approach, which is why life has been getting to me a lot lately.
I have a handful of foods/fruits/vegetables that have always made me shudder. I tend to be a very open minded - and mouthed - person when it comes to food, but like every Superman, I also have my kryptonite, even if it's a kryptonite whose affects I've never actually tested. I have never been partial to tomatoes, mushrooms or kiwis, and I have lived in fear of what a brussels sprout may do to my very soul. Going vegetarian has brought me to that point where I will now have to face my fears, suck it up and start expanding my palette beyond the purposely set limits of my foodie imagination. While I am not running head-on into the danger zone, I have slowly started to incorporate at least one of the aforementioned items into my diet.
I'm sure at this point, you are through rolling your eyes and have moved onto a more befuddled expression: what does this have to do with your life besides you ditching meat? Well, I guess my musings regarding scrambles started last night when the manfriend and I met up with some of my high school friends at a local Thai restaurant called Lotus of Siam (which is really an amazing spot to dine - you should check them out). My friend Yurika and her boyfriend Shoji ventured to Las Vegas yesterday for a vacation and I had the lovely opportunity to do a bit of catching up with them as well as enjoy some tofu pad-see-ew, a dish I would marry if I was not already in a committed relationship.
The conversation carried on in the usual way as Yurika and I chatted about our friends back home in Torrance. We exchanged a blanket I accidentally left at our annual Christmas party and a watch our other friend Erica left in the backseat of our car from our annual Laughlin trip. Rey, my hubby, also gave them some off-the-strip must-see advice because we "locals" tend to beckon our visiting friends away from the confines of a typical Las Vegas schedule. I definitely enjoyed the food and the effervescent company, but what really stuck in my brain since last night was the remark Yurika made as we embraced in our leave. She said to me in similar words, "you must get a lot of visitors from home because you're the closest of the extended group." In that moment I didn't think much of it; I just grinned and thought, "yeah, Liz is in Florida and Jen is going to be moving out of the country soon ... I suppose I am the closest of the extended friend-family."
Then today and all of work's drama ensued, and as I sat in my car on the drive home, my mind, though tired, focused on Yurika's words again. I wanted to dwell on the fact that 2014, even with the big, positive changes that have come to pass in my personal life, was still a big scramble of mess. But Yurika's words really got me thinking that despite it all, my 2014 has been pretty fricken good in terms of the awesome people I have in my life. Since moving to Las Vegas, I have missed out on birthdays and other fun events. But I got to spend time with a group of people (that keeps growing!) that I have known for what seems like forever over Christmas. I have had Dulce, Robin and Duane visit, and I have seen my friend Chammarra and her family on their vacation out here. I am beyond excited that Liz will be coming over from Florida in February and that we are going to have a week to hang out, catch up and make new memories.
I know that to most of you these are faceless names. To me, these are people I have known since middle school - and some even earlier. Moreover, these humans are like my family as they were there for me in times when even my own family wasn't completely present. I survived a great deal of bad history because of these people and the fact that they all still are very much present in my life is one of the greatest blessings I could ever have. Most people leave high school and never see each other again. Me and my friends have no intention of going to our high school reunions because the people we cared about most a decade ago are still active in our lives today. It's a beautifully mind-boggling fact.
When I'm driving home at the end of the day, especially on those days when life seems especially hard, I need to remember the best parts of the scramble of life. I made a scramble tonight for dinner for me and Denise, and it consisted of soyrizo, tofu and potatoes. I also added mushrooms. No, I was not happy about it because mushrooms have an awkward texture and an awkward almost tasteless-taste which weirds me out beyond reason (much like my dislike towards boba balls - I mean, really, what are you?!) but I figured that mushrooms are healthy and good for me and something that I need to start incorporating into my diet for all of their positive benefits. So while the scramble may appear to be just that, a mess, it's the individual ingredients that come together to create something that actually does kind of make sense. Yes, tofu and soyrizo are yummy. Potatoes are also good but are also starchy. And mushrooms are still kind of terrifying, but in the long run, I know that mushrooms and I will end up being cordial at the very least. I just need to start seeing their benefits instead of dwelling on that awkwardness they possess, in the humble opinion of my taste buds. At this point, I need to accept that life will always have its messy, unintelligible moments, but it is in those moments that we search and find those gems that make the messy times easier to get through. I am blessed by my support here in Vegas with me, Denise and Rey and his family. But I also have those crazy humans from Torrance and Florida and everywhere in-between that help me to find the fun within the scramble.
It is in appreciating the creativity of it all that we find the artistic side of life; we discover new tastes, new ways to do things, and new fun in old traditions by being bold, not backing down and understanding that with all the bad there is also all of the good in a perfect balance of chaotic mess that, someday, will make sense - even if it is left to individual interpretation.
Well kiddos, I am done trying to be all philosophical for tonight. It is time for bed. I leave you with a simple expression of thanks for all of the tofus and mushrooms, old and new, in my life; you are all weird and awkward but ultimately good for me, so I thank you - seriously, I do. You make this scramble delicious.
Cheers!
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