Chapter Five: Chunky Monkey.

Where is our best friend The Camel to ask us what day it is?? It's HUMP DAY - the midday of this crazy train, and boy was today a crazy one. There are days when I seriously think the universe is playing a practical joke on me, placing bets on different points at which my head might burst into flames. I used to pride myself in being an extremely patient person, or rather, I believed I was patient because that's what people told me. Now I'm not so sure I ever really was. I think I tolerated stuff more than actually being patient about stuff. Hump Day was a huge test of my (lack there of) patience. That being said, everything that could rain on my parade was exactly the fuel that sparked a lovely twenty minute non-stop run on the elliptical.

I have heard that ellipticals are tricky machines in that they usually lie to you, giving you a false pat on the back for a work out that you really didn't put as much effort into as you may imagine. There is always the help from the foot pedals that rotate and continue to do so at about the same speed you were at seconds before you began to slow yourself so that your legs are essentially just moving to the motion of the ocean on a particularly windy day. But the roll of my tide was all my own tonight, and I can actually thank my work day for the momentum. I spent twenty minutes almost mindlessly venting at Denise, hardly realizing, even though I was catching my breath between syllables, that I was sweating and actually getting a pretty decent work out. I went from psycho-manic crazy lady to "Hey, I'm already at my two minute cool down - sweet!"

I started to think about the mini work out sesh while in the shower and I realized how great I felt. There was a point in the day in which I honestly felt like throwing in the towel, ready to hit up Ross for a pair of cheap heels and then find a vacant corner as a means of bringing in some cash. Thankfully, I physically took my anger out on that elliptical (and verbally at Denise) and it felt stupendous (the work out itself, not my verbal abuse at Denise)! I was able to turn that negative energy into fuel for something positive. I have never looked at working out that way. Even better, I was humbled by the intensity of my day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am thankful for what I did put up with at work because I was able to use it towards something good for me. That's how I can start looking at the way I sometimes kind of feel like I'm sitting under a magnifying glass; the universe isn't after me, God isn't after me, trying to make me feel weak. He is giving me the tools I need to be strong when I feel like I have been thrown under a bus. My attitude pre-work out went from nasty to happily pleasant post-work out. I got to enjoy an evening with Denise and Nellis Mae, eating dinner and watching a few episodes of Girl Code, our new handbook for life. And the only the show on MTV that is even the slightest bit entertaining.    

Speaking of food ...

Denise: Why does it smell like mold in here?
Me: It's probably the mushrooms.

You are so tired of my whining, so let me share some food with you! Tonight we enjoyed a frozen meal from Whole Foods. It was the fettuccine alfredo with mushrooms dish. Honestly, I am not a fan of mushrooms at all. But after my run of expelled anguish, nothing smelled better than a steaming plate of carbs and fungi. I added some green beans, corn and Quorn brand chik'n because I was terrified of how this dish might come out. To my and Denise's pleasant surprise, the grub was delicious. I'm not sure if my mind is making me like foods, vegetables mainly, that I didn't care for before because I am now vegetarian, but the mushrooms did not faze me at all. I was nearly licking my plate. It was shameful.

Denise also made me my favorite smoothie thus far in the Simple Green Smoothie challenge: the Chunky Monkey. 

Or as they call it in the Marvel Universe, the Chunky HULK Monkey ... just don't call him chunky.

Denise spent some time after our excursion at the dog park across the street from our pad making her own almond butter, which was one of the ingredients of the Chunky Monkey. There are also a crap-ton of bananas and a wee bit o' chocolate (cue Homer Simpson drool session) mixed into this chaos of spinach. This is also the first smoothie in which the recipe did not call for berries. While berries are bliss, I am a huge banana fan (that's what I said) so naturally this smoothie was projected to be my fave, hands down, especially when combined with the element of chocolate. Again, chocolate is Cassandra's best friend.

We ended our Hump Day with a splash of Nacheez on some cauliflower and called it a night. Our wonderful friend and vegan mentor, Christina (hey girl!), is always hooking Denise and I up with the yummiest vegan food and snackage. She is a professed enabler and showed her true colors of wanting us both to create addictions when she gave us a jar of Nacheez - you enabler!!

It's like crack, only healthier for you.

Well kids, Hump Day has officially come to a close. I am off to snuggle up next to the manfriend and the baby brat, ready to catch some zzz's and prepare for another day. If anything should try to make me throw in the towel tomorrow, I will welcome it and kindly offer it to whatever work out I do to exert all of my angry vomit :)

Sweets dreams and here's to a better Thursday! Cheers!       

Chapter Four: Monday, Monday.

Hello, Monday. I never thought we could be so cordial, but it is pleasant to know that even we can be respectful to each other, even when you suck.

Okay, so my Monday did not actually suck. Yay! I hope yours didn't either. The older I get the more I dread Mondays, and often that dread seeps into Sunday nights which sucks as well. Again, I am trying to be more positive and thankful for my job, but hey, baby steps right? I wasn't necessarily dreading Monday, however, I wasn't thrilled that my Monday at work was going to start at ... *breath* ... 6:30am (unfortunately by my own accord). I still ended my day at my normal time and while I was slightly afraid that I might drop my face onto the desk from utter exhaustion, I survived the longer than usual day as though it were any other. I definitely applaud my change in diet as well as the super yummy smoothies I have been happily consuming as the source of my endurance. The work day seems to fly by and my wings have not been tired at all. It is fascinating. 

As I stated in Chapter Three, today was the day that I started adding exercising to my diet change. I am thankful to live in a complex where we have access to a decent size gym that has a few good options in terms of weight machines, an elliptical, two treadmills and 5,000 spin bikes. Now, back in my more fit days, I would spend a good hour in this little gym bouncing from machine to machine. Today, I decided not to push the envelope too heavily. Now that my lifestyle has changed, I want to take every step not necessarily gingerly but with some consideration for the changes happening in my body. Denise joined me and we did some cardio on the treadmills, testing the incline function and speed until we broke a sweat. I also played with the dumbbells because who wants a pair of Arnold thighs with flabby arms? I can't help but have nightmares about my underarms melting down to the floor like some kind of Dahli painting - yowza! The visuals! 

I didn't do anything core-specific this time around because I want to re-introduce my body into moving at a pace faster and more efficient than the slobbish zombie-sprint I generally do en route to the couch. My body didn't put up too much of a resistance today, but as it is only day one, we shall see what tomorrow holds. I am just excited that when I came home from work my attitude didn't turn into "meeeehhhhhh, do I really want to change and not take this God-forsaken bra off, and then walk in the cold to the gym, and then make myself move faster than normal to force myself to sweat" as it usually does. 

I won't lie, though; my mind was focused on the prize the entire time. That's right - food, glorious dinner. Denise made some rice and corn with ground "meat," mixed into some tomato sauce, tomatoes, onions and green beans. 

How I managed to only chow down on one bowl-full is beyond me.

Denise and I love bowl meals. Throwing a bunch of random stuff into a bowl is easy and yummy and leaves so much room for creativity. As I stated above, I did only have one serving of this hot mess. Even better than the surprise of my odd self-control, for dessert I only consumed three squares of this decadent beauty:

If the Golden Ticket tastes anything like the bar itself, I'm swallowing it.

I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATE. I also LOVE truffle. Put them together and I die. Simple as that. Don't get me roses, manfriend; get me a thick hunk of dark chocolate and truffle! This was my first time trying the Trader Joe's brand of chocolate and it was anything but a disappointment. It's the little things that really make the day :)

Anywho, tomorrow brings a new day and a new smoothie. Denise has prepared for us the Purple Power smoothie, comprised of two cups kale, a crap-ton of blueberries, two bananas and she added two tablespoons of flaxseed. I know I generally show off the post-warfare of the Ninja, but tonight I will give you the creation prior to it getting the karate chop.

Pre-massacre. Kind of.

Alas, I am sure you are done reading my ramblings for tonight. At 9pm, I am happy to say that I am ready for bed feeling content with all I have accomplished today. I am looking forward to my Purple Power smoothie for breakfast. Here's to a powerful Tuesday! 

Cheers!