Chapter Five: Chunky Monkey.

Where is our best friend The Camel to ask us what day it is?? It's HUMP DAY - the midday of this crazy train, and boy was today a crazy one. There are days when I seriously think the universe is playing a practical joke on me, placing bets on different points at which my head might burst into flames. I used to pride myself in being an extremely patient person, or rather, I believed I was patient because that's what people told me. Now I'm not so sure I ever really was. I think I tolerated stuff more than actually being patient about stuff. Hump Day was a huge test of my (lack there of) patience. That being said, everything that could rain on my parade was exactly the fuel that sparked a lovely twenty minute non-stop run on the elliptical.

I have heard that ellipticals are tricky machines in that they usually lie to you, giving you a false pat on the back for a work out that you really didn't put as much effort into as you may imagine. There is always the help from the foot pedals that rotate and continue to do so at about the same speed you were at seconds before you began to slow yourself so that your legs are essentially just moving to the motion of the ocean on a particularly windy day. But the roll of my tide was all my own tonight, and I can actually thank my work day for the momentum. I spent twenty minutes almost mindlessly venting at Denise, hardly realizing, even though I was catching my breath between syllables, that I was sweating and actually getting a pretty decent work out. I went from psycho-manic crazy lady to "Hey, I'm already at my two minute cool down - sweet!"

I started to think about the mini work out sesh while in the shower and I realized how great I felt. There was a point in the day in which I honestly felt like throwing in the towel, ready to hit up Ross for a pair of cheap heels and then find a vacant corner as a means of bringing in some cash. Thankfully, I physically took my anger out on that elliptical (and verbally at Denise) and it felt stupendous (the work out itself, not my verbal abuse at Denise)! I was able to turn that negative energy into fuel for something positive. I have never looked at working out that way. Even better, I was humbled by the intensity of my day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am thankful for what I did put up with at work because I was able to use it towards something good for me. That's how I can start looking at the way I sometimes kind of feel like I'm sitting under a magnifying glass; the universe isn't after me, God isn't after me, trying to make me feel weak. He is giving me the tools I need to be strong when I feel like I have been thrown under a bus. My attitude pre-work out went from nasty to happily pleasant post-work out. I got to enjoy an evening with Denise and Nellis Mae, eating dinner and watching a few episodes of Girl Code, our new handbook for life. And the only the show on MTV that is even the slightest bit entertaining.    

Speaking of food ...

Denise: Why does it smell like mold in here?
Me: It's probably the mushrooms.

You are so tired of my whining, so let me share some food with you! Tonight we enjoyed a frozen meal from Whole Foods. It was the fettuccine alfredo with mushrooms dish. Honestly, I am not a fan of mushrooms at all. But after my run of expelled anguish, nothing smelled better than a steaming plate of carbs and fungi. I added some green beans, corn and Quorn brand chik'n because I was terrified of how this dish might come out. To my and Denise's pleasant surprise, the grub was delicious. I'm not sure if my mind is making me like foods, vegetables mainly, that I didn't care for before because I am now vegetarian, but the mushrooms did not faze me at all. I was nearly licking my plate. It was shameful.

Denise also made me my favorite smoothie thus far in the Simple Green Smoothie challenge: the Chunky Monkey. 

Or as they call it in the Marvel Universe, the Chunky HULK Monkey ... just don't call him chunky.

Denise spent some time after our excursion at the dog park across the street from our pad making her own almond butter, which was one of the ingredients of the Chunky Monkey. There are also a crap-ton of bananas and a wee bit o' chocolate (cue Homer Simpson drool session) mixed into this chaos of spinach. This is also the first smoothie in which the recipe did not call for berries. While berries are bliss, I am a huge banana fan (that's what I said) so naturally this smoothie was projected to be my fave, hands down, especially when combined with the element of chocolate. Again, chocolate is Cassandra's best friend.

We ended our Hump Day with a splash of Nacheez on some cauliflower and called it a night. Our wonderful friend and vegan mentor, Christina (hey girl!), is always hooking Denise and I up with the yummiest vegan food and snackage. She is a professed enabler and showed her true colors of wanting us both to create addictions when she gave us a jar of Nacheez - you enabler!!

It's like crack, only healthier for you.

Well kids, Hump Day has officially come to a close. I am off to snuggle up next to the manfriend and the baby brat, ready to catch some zzz's and prepare for another day. If anything should try to make me throw in the towel tomorrow, I will welcome it and kindly offer it to whatever work out I do to exert all of my angry vomit :)

Sweets dreams and here's to a better Thursday! Cheers!       

Chapter Three: Food, Glorious Food!

Well kiddos, it is Sunday night and I have been sincerely spoiled by my food intake as of recent. You see, my bestie and roommate, Denise, willingly signed up to participate in the Simple Green Smoothie challenge. The point of the challenge is to try a new smoothie every day for a month (30 days), and the recipes for a week's worth of smoothies are sent via e-mail to the lucky person doing the challenge.Denise was very excited about this, especially if it meant being able to take her Ninja blender on an adventure. Now, each recipe makes enough for two smoothies and, lucky me, I have been carried along on this challenge by default. I won't lie, these smoothies are not necessarily pretty to look at, unless you love every hue of green, but they taste fantastic! My use of the italicize function is not me coming off sarcastic when I say they taste fantastic. They really do. And the best part is that each smoothie is jam-packed with vitamins and minerals from the use of spinach and kale, but flavored with the yummy sweetness of bananas, strawberries, mangoes, and every other fruit the recipes call for. Having a smoothie is an excellent way to start the day.

Mm, mm, Hulk-y!

So berry good.

 Denise and I have been successful thus far with having our morning smoothies. I really am proud of us considering we have not strayed in our way of eating, not even on the weekends. We have also started taking vitamins. That is probably the worst part since leaving meat behind. Not only am I terrible with taking tiny headache pills, I have the most sensitive gag reflex in the world. I now face five horse-sized pills every morning. They stare up at me tauntingly from the GNC packing, smirking as I gulp in fear. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for them and I know my body is (my body has never registered the word "vitamin" let alone actually taking them), but this is the part that has been the hardest. My vitamin-taking ritual in the mornings is probably hilarious to the passerby because I seriously have to mentally prepare myself before gulping down each pill individually. Again, no sarcasm with the italicized emphasis. I am really just a crazy person.

Beyond the vitamins, Denise, the manfriend and I have started a little tradition of venturing to Red Robin for lunch after church. I know that nothing healthy can come from a trip to Red Robin, however, their Garden Burger is to die for - my opinion, of course. I especially love the Bonzai Garden Burger because what's the point of grabbing a bite of a Garden Burger and not slapping some pineapples and unhealthy teriyaki sauce on it? We love them so much that we even picked some up at the grocery store today, minus the pineapple slices and teriykai sauce. The next time we go to Red Robin I intend to try their vegan burger. For now, though, I will dream of a Garden Burger smothered in all that is unhealthy...

Yeah. You might have to clean the sheets tomorrow.

 Okay, so not every meal can be as decadent as what is pictured above. Denise and I have been trying out some of the frozen products we picked up at Whole Foods. We tried their four-cheese gnocchi for lunch on Saturday. We added some meatless "chicken" bites as well as a variety of veggies, and viola! A happy little lunch was born!

I like it when my peas a-pop.

 So far, I have really enjoyed trying out all of these meatless products, as well as the smoothies. We have had to increase our trips to the grocery store to about once a week, but it is nice to have fresh produce in the house on a weekly basis. Beyond that, my palate has had a blast trying all of the new textures and flavors that I am being introduced to. I am really proud of Denise for being consistent with making the smoothies and sharing their deliciousness with me. I am proud that the both of us have kept to our promise to make some changes in ourselves and for this world. 

Tomorrow is the day we begin the exercise portion of this diet change, so wish me luck. I have not been on a steady exercise regime since July, and I can already foresee me having a tumble on the treadmill. Or a heart attack. Either way, I'm hoping for the best.

On that note, it is off to bed. Sweet dreams!

Denise says: Don't forget to puree tomorrow's smoothie!